Rage is an emotion which when it comes, it takes control of our emotions and removes us from mental and physical logic of what we normally wouldn’t do.
In my short lifetime of about 27 years, I can remember only being in rage and totally losing control of myself twice. In both instances, I truly regretted my actions and within a split second, I realised what anger and rage can do to me and the people around me.
The last of my rage was in 2004 when I flung a chair to a group of my own buddies during National Service. I realised that when in rage, your body picks up anything in it’s path and turns it into destruction. I remember the chair was the closest to me and hence, I picked it up and threw a good 5 – 7 metres at a few of my buddies who had been on my nerves for the past 40 minutes.
The cause of it?
They teased me because I had dropped out of line in our march back to our barracks to run to my room first to use the toilet. It was one of those days that you just can’t control your bowels any longer and if you remained in line, you’d have soiled your pants.
It was a funny incident but it turned ugly because I allowed the teasing to get the better of me.
As a Muslim, I’ve been taught and told many times about the story of our beloved Prophet Muhammad who was someone who was always calm and composed and was never seen to be in rage about anything that he’d lose self control over. This was a trait that I found it hard to fathom because as humans, we’re emotional beings and we tend to lose self control.
But that incident which happened to me was a wake up call to me.
I swore to myself that I’d never get angry or fly into a rage ever again because of the harm that it could cause to me, but especially to the people I love around me. I can’t imagine how some people can allow themselves to get into a rage so easily, ever so often and regret but repeat the very same mistake over and over again.
I find it rather unsettling to know that such incidences occur time and again and more often than not, such incidences occur as a result of the inability to control their mental and physical well-being because they are intoxicated or overwhelmed by the situation at hand.
I think it’s extremely important for everyone of us to learn about ourselves, to acknowledge that we have weaknesses and work towards improving that weakness. We need to be able to identify what triggers us to fly into a rage and control ourself before that trigger occurs. This can be done through writing down journals or seeking a counsellor for assistance if you’re not able to sieve out the trigger mentally.
I managed mine mentally and I think this is perhaps why most of my friends and especially, ex-girlfriends find it disturbing and irritating that they find it hard to make me angry or even to get into an argument because I move away from such confrontations knowing that I might lose myself.
Then again, I also know that I make situations worst in arguments because I’m someone who’s frank and honest about my opinions and as much as I’m a performer, I’m really not good at lying or trying to hide information.
To end, here’s a quote from me:
“How can we expect the world to be in peace when we can’t control our own emotions to engage ourself in peaceful dialogue”