“MY WIFE IS PREGNANT!”
That was how I felt when my wife informed me that she was pregnant. I also felt extremely happy to know that my man-device was fully functional.
But that was the initial phase.
What followed next was months of hard work, patience, prayers and lots of assurances that everything was going to turn out fine.
The first trimester was as how most people had mentioned – CHALLENGING.
My wife was constantly having ‘night sickness’ – feeling ill and puking when she got home from work. The only thing I knew how to help, was the one thing that always helped me when I felt pukish or whenever I puked.
RUB HER BACK
ENCOURAGE HER TO PUKE (she’ll refuse but hey, you always feel better after you puke)
LET HER PAY FOR MEALS (if she wants to, so if she pukes, she won’t feel that bad cause it was her money. heh)
But all said and done, the first trimester is one that requires the husband to provide plenty of motivation and support to ensure your wife pukes when she needs to, is given a massage when required and a tissue plus a drink of water to clear her throat for her to be comfortable enough to rest.
My brother-in-law and sister chipped in to help as well by giving us books on being prepared for pregnancy.
So, with that as my guide, off I went.
Also known as the best trimester and INDEED it was!
With the first hurdle over, this second trimester is a time to enjoy between both husband and wife *hint hint* Hehehe
It is also a good time for husband to begin working out together with your wife.
I was planning my training schedule around my wife with simple static exercises.
SQUATS (if she can’t do regular squats, do wide squats!)
And most of the weighted exercises were done, seated on the swiss ball (yoga ball).
We also signed up for a class together to learn more about the labour and breastfeeding process!
THE MOST ANXIOUS PERIOD for the both of you.
The baby is going to pop out. When is it going to pop out? How will the baby look like? Is the baby healthy? Are you growing well? Is your wife eating well? Is her mood in check?
ALL THESE AND MORE!
It’s a time where there’s plenty of questions to ask and plenty of answers that can be given but what I found most easy for my wife and me is that she was disciplined on her food intake, drinking well and ensuring the food she eats is healthy (you can read more on what she did on her blog, click here!)
My job as a husband, was clearly define in my opinion.
CONTINUE TO GIVE SUPPORT
And so, I tried to be as supportive and as understanding as possible.
She may be uncomfortable to take long walks by now, so rather than ask her to take long walks in the park which could be such a bore, I would ask her to go to the mall to enjoy a drink or to get groceries (kill two birds with one stone!).
Whenever my wife felt unsure about what she was doing, I gave her assurance of what she was doing and how much she has progressed. (It’s easy for your wife to criticize herself because she can’t see progress or is unaware of the progress she’s making. So, it’s your job to let her know that what she’s doing is helping in the process.)
Malays have a saying, “Sikit sikit, lama lama jadi bukit” (small things will always add up)
So, ALWAYS, ALWAYS, ALWAYS, TRUST THE PROCESS!
And remember, to enjoy it. So, plan for a date together!
If you noticed, this whole post about being a husband to a pregnant wife, if summarized, is simply about being there for your wife.
Give her the support she needs. Offer her the assurance she needs. Be creative about how you want to support her.
And last but not least, as a Muslim, I try to remind myself and my wife as much as possible about prophetic stories or quotes from the Quran and of course, to zikr as much as possible because as a Muslim, prayers is our weapon isn’t it? (I do believe that even if you’re not a Muslim, you should still pray!)
Oh, I also downloaded BabyCenter app which turned out to be a lifesaver as it provided us with lots of articles for us to keep track of progress for both baby and mother.