About a month or so ago, my dad shared with me why he didn’t want to pay for my university education nor supported my decision to accept a place in a university and instead, asked me to work.
It was a tough decision but it is one that I can accept, and I agree with, now that I’ve heard him explain.
It was simply due to fairness of treatment between his two children.
My sister had wanted to further her studies in Australia during her time but he didn’t support it either because if he did, he’d end up spending on her and should it came to my turn, and if I wanted to do the same, he wouldn’t have the means to send me instead.
It was either one or none at all. It was a very rational and balanced decision that he took.
It wasn’t that he didn’t want his kids to further their studies, but it was because if he couldn’t afford for one, he wouldn’t send the other or it would have been unfair.
He didn’t want to take the route that most would have done – send one child to university and hope that the Golden child returns a graduate and repays the kindness to the other sibling and the family. He didn’t believe in that. He believed in equal opportunities.
At that moment when he told me, I wanted to cry. I wanted to cry because I knew that he was looking after my interest as well when he denied my sister her opportunity because true enough, when it came to my turn, he said NO as well. (I still remember the University calling me to ask if I was going to accept my place)
Such was our financial situation back then and I am forever appreciative of the decision he made and grateful that he shared this with me.
To me, that decision, was a good parenting decision and is one that I can learn from.
It was to avoid conflict and jealousy between siblings or accusations of favoritism.
Simple as that