(With the name of Allah, the All-Merciful, the Very Merciful)
I was watching the episodic series, Cold Blood, earlier tonight and the story centered around a couple who after being married for 5 years, began to have problems in their marriage.
Issues such as Jealousy and Trust were prominently the cause of the problems in the marriage as well as Disrespect.
Watching the show, there were also other issues which came up and the more prevalent one was the husband was beating the wife. But yet, the wife refuses to divorce him but instead, sticks it out with him until she eventually caught him sleeping with another woman. But of course, this happened only after he had caught her seeing other men behind his back on several occasions.
Whatever the case, this story prompted me to raise a question, a very simple fundamental question, “Why do women get hooked to men who love to treat them badly?”
I have several answers of my own but I thought that perhaps it would be best to open it up to the land of Twitter where discussions could be more rife and open for debate.
And it all came down to this, most men who treat women badly were also:
- Were more willing to show Sweet Gestures like buying them food (so easy ah? Like bribing kindergarten kid with candy),
- Had the ability to brainwash (or the women brainwashed herself into thinking that she couldn’t find a better man),
- Gave women the belief that they could be changed for the better (or women believed that they had such abilities),
- Attractive AND
And then of course, some traits that the ladies said they wanted in a man:
- Humourous AND
all of which I believe you can find in the kind of guy called, ‘Mommy’s Boy’ or ‘Mr Nice Guy’ which doesn’t sit well with women because they believe that the guy will only follow what the mother says.
Well, as a Muslim, and those who did reply to me were Muslims, Prophet Muhammad (Peace Be Upon Him) when asked by a friend whom to respect between the parents, replied “Mother” thrice before replying “Father” on the fourth. This puts the mother, a woman, in a very high position within Islam and it was also mentioned that the road to Heaven lies underneath the mother’s feet, not literally of course.
So, I don’t see why there should be any reason to argue why the ‘Mommy’s Boy’ or ‘Mr Nice Guy’ shouldn’t listen to his mother, especially if she’s a devout and well-learned Muslim. I mean, we all do agree to the saying, “A Mother Knows What’s Best”, right?However, he has every right to go against what she says or tells him to do if it goes against Islam because God did mention this as well in the Quran but he has to do this with utmost respect.
And well, what’s the conclusion in the end?
The Perfect Kind Of A Man in my opinion is only a fairy tale, conjured up by Hollywood movie producers, scriptwriters and directors and brought to life by extremely talented actors, because even if the traits of a ‘Mr Nice Guy’ is evident in a man, a woman will find means and ways and reasons and excuses to ‘Friend Zone‘ him because she will brainwash herself into thinking that she doesn’t deserve him or that he deserves someone better than her.
OR she will ONLY choose him, after she has had much regret with other guys who has battered her up so badly that the only guy she knows who won’t hurt her will be that ‘Mr Nice Guy’.
(This Entry Is Dedicated To A Dear Friend Of Mine Who In My Opinion Is “THE PERFECT KIND OF A MAN”)