Have you wondered what are your thought processes when making a decision who to marry?
For the most part of our lives growing up, most of us have only made a decision of who we want to be with – the one whom we call our other half, which in truth is only someone more than a friend (boyfriend/girlfriend).
We get into an intimate relationship with this other stranger (for those who have only known one another for a few months) or ‘new found friend’ and test the relationship through a series of commitments which both parties agree on – going out exclusively with each other, holding hands, kissing, having sex and sharing of thoughts and feelings.
Based on the above, a few scenarios could turn out:
- Break Up
Having perhaps shared part of your life with your ‘other half’, you’d probably come to a point where you realise that there are some things about the other which you can’t tolerate or understand and is definitely something which you cannot accept. Thus, a break up decision is made and based on what is it that you couldn’t tolerate/understand/accept, you may or may not remain friends.
- Try To Work It Out
Depending on how much you have ‘invested’ into your ‘other half’, you might consider trying to work it out since both of you are probably tolerant of each other. Hence, you try to understand and accept what you’ve been tolerating over time. This might result in a break up or work out well depending on each other’s life principles.
This also usually happens when both parties feel that they’ve put in too much and feel that breaking up is such a waste.
- End Up In Marriage
The best of situations but not many reach this stage. You’re probably able to accept and tolerate although you might not understand what your ‘other half’ does but you’re willing to throw in your support behind his/her back or you’re just someone who’s just not that bothered by a lack of the ability to comprehend.
I’ve often been told that relationships requires plenty of ‘Trial and Errors’ before you finally meet the ‘right’ one.
I find that to be rather screwed up because some ‘Trial and Errors’ leave a person so badly ‘damaged’ that no amount of ‘repair’ or ‘restoration’ could perhaps ever ‘fix’ what went wrong during the ‘Trial and Error’ phase.
I’m sure there are those who’d disagree with me and why not, this is only my opinion on this matter and these are my suggestions on perhaps how best to avoid or put a bare minimum to the ‘damage’ during the ‘Trial and Error’ phase. It’s perhaps very systematic in nature but is reduces the chances of ‘damages’ to yourself and others:
- Be A Friend
Most girls wouldn’t want to marry someone they relegate to the ‘Friend’ zone – someone who’s nice and caring usually get the brunt of it. Unfortunately though, most people, regardless guys or girls tend to forget that the only person who accepts you as who you truly are, other than your family members is someone you call, ‘FRIEND’.Get to know someone really well as a friend. There isn’t a need to go out with someone because you want to make them your partner. You’re only conditioning them and yourself towards something that you’re probably not and you might get tired of it because you’re probably only putting up a front.
- Decide Your End
How do you want your marriage to be?Everyone wants a happy marriage but what kind of happiness are you looking for?
Is it material happiness or something more intangible whereby happiness can only be derived through a deep emotional connection and understanding of each other as well as a strong unwavering support system between each other.
That should be it.
I think those are the two very important factors to think about aside from all the other tangible list that one has such as the socio-economic status of the particular individual as well as perhaps how that person looks physically.
Well, those are my thoughts on it.