How many times have we heard that in our lives?
I’ve said those words a few times in the minute number of relationships that I’ve been in and for each and every single time I break up, I end up happier and wiser than the previous.
This is not to say that the relationships I was in didn’t make me happy. They did. But I’m happier and wiser with each failed relationship because I see that the ex has moved on to be happier with their lives and that means that the decision to split was a good one for both of us.
More than that, I grow wiser because I learn from them the mistakes that I’ve made in that relationship and I also learn to know the type of person whom I want to be with as a result of learning about myself from that relationship.
But it’s not so much about the relationships that I’ve been in that I’d like to talk about. It’s about the relationship of loved ones around me either in the past or present moment.
I have in the past, persuaded good friends of mine to break up with their partners because they were in such relationships whereby the word ‘HAPPY’ and ‘JOY’ no longer existed.
The only reason why they were still together was simply because of emotional attachment which people call, ‘LOVE’. But more often it was alot about ‘PITY’ and ‘TIME’. (Such a pity to break up after XX number of years/months)
‘LOVE’ is of course supposed to be associated to a feeling of euphoria where you feel like you’re in lala land, like a butterfly fluttering or just floating in the air and something which makes you SMILE everytime you think about it.
THAT IS LOVE.
I can think about LOVE in it’s own entity and be like what I described to you.
‘LOVE’ with another person is about being able to still find yourself in such a euphoric atmosphere when you put their face into your bubble.
‘LOVE’ is not something that you live on a day to day basis whereby you fret thinking about that someone whom you’re in a relationship with right now. (People can argue about how angry they feel and all but there should always be that portion whereby you know at the end of the day, that person can help you reach that euphoric state again)
If you fret thinking about that person or the situation that you’re in, then you’re probably just in a relationship minus ‘LOVE’. But ‘LOVE’ can of course be found in more than just ONE individual. The only difference is that you get a different kind of ‘LOVE’ with different people.
There’s also of course those people who are in a relationship and remain in one purely because of the benefits that it brings for them. The rise in status as a result of who you’re in a relationship with, the power you derive from it for the ability to have control over someone or if you prefer to be controlled and lastly, the ability to enjoy the wealth that the other brings as well as the physical lust that you gain from it.
The problem that I hear often is when is the right time to say those words, “I want to break up with you”.
I feel that the right time to say those words is the time you feel a sense of doubt in the POTENTIAL FUTURE of your relationship. Most people tend to say, “give another chance” and I’d agree that another chance is deserving but are you looking farther enough to look beyond that second chance? To be able to see the potential gain in the future from you giving that second chance.
If you tell me that you can see how much JOY and HAPPINESS you can gain from giving that second chance, then you shouldn’t break up!
BUT if you can’t see, then it’s time for you to really run away right now so that you can be happy again.
Because if you simply cannot LOVE yourself first to know what JOY and HAPPINESS means for you or have lost that JOY and HAPPINESS as a result of your relationship, then you need to say those 6 words today and never look back on your decision.
Find your LOVE today.