Respect – Rules on Engagement

Everyone wants to be respected.

For good relationships to grow, respect needs to be there.

Respect for one’s wants and needs.

In respect, it may not be the same amount or kind of respect that you want from someone. In respect it’s about being empathetic and understanding the kind and amount of respect that the other person wants.

It’s not just about you.

At times, to respect someone in a relationship, it may just require you to keep quiet for just a few seconds.

The few seconds of silence could be a turning point in how the relationship works out.

It’s not about winning arguments and about pin-pointing who’s right or wrong about a particular situation but it’s about understanding that there is an argument and what would be the best solution that both parties can come to terms with to agree on to resolving the issue.

Cause whenever there’s a winner, there will be a loser. And if I get this right in relationships, the winner will always drive home the winning point each and everytime an argument ensues. If the winner doesn’t, there will be feeling within that you’d just want to blurt out.

Common phrases often heard will be “It’s gonna be like the last time”, “Are you still trying to defend what you did previously?”

It’s easy to begin a relationship but it’s never easy to maintain one that’s respectful enough.

Men often do things without giving it much thought and get themselves caught in situations that they can’t explain simply because they were just doing it for the fun of it and women don’t share the same kind of funny bones that men have.

Women often do things with so much heart that they get themselves emotionally caught in situations that they can’t find any thoughtful ways to get out of it because they feel so much for it and men just can’t understand why they’d cry for hours or days over something that we’d probably never even bother about.

Sure, we all want our opinions heard.

But there’s a better way to let it be heard than to start shouting at one another and finger-pointing.

For those who learnt about psychology and counselling, it would work out to be the best solution to put what you learn to use. Sit down with hands by your side and legs by your side facing one another. And in discussing, there should be rules to it. No name calling, no shouting, no screaming, no vulgarities, no hand gestures, no raising voices and with so many NOs in place, the biggest NO would have to be, NO talking when the other one is talking.

If both sides can agree and stick to the terms of these Rules of Engagement, I’m sure there’ll be more respect between one another than you both began and if the relationship should not work out, at least you know you still have a friend whom you can talk to and discuss on personal issues.

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