Am I?

What’s Abd?!!

This entry on WhatsAbd?!! I’ll be talking a little bit less on politics but instead focus on Social norms within society.

Okayy… This might be interesting from the normal political talk. So, what’s abd?

I’d like to discuss on an issue that has plague the world for centuries dating back to the period of prophecy. The existence of same gender relationships, Gays and Lesbians.

Very sensitive don’t you think so?

Yes indeed it is. Perhaps some people might not be able to accept this discussion and if you do not, then I suggest you stop right here. However, the views that I will be sharing will purely be impartial and is a result of years of interaction with such behaviour, readings and attempts at understanding them and the reasons as to why a group of individuals have preferred to choose as such.

Okay.. I’m open to listen. So i’ll carry on.

Let’s begin with trying to understand why such ‘mutations’ occur within society. There has been several intepretations and explanations as to the reasons why individuals choose to go into a same gender relationship. These reasons have been derived by me as:

– Lack of understanding from opposing gender
– Born with such traits
– Lack of intimacy with opposing gender during sexual intercourse

  1. Very common has it been heard that a failure from a cross gender relationship has led to such behaviour. I have encountered several incidents since high school when my friends have engaged in such relationships. More often than not, they have indicated their preference for a same gender relationship due to the failure of understanding that they experienced during a cross gender relationships eg: failure to pick up subtle hints or react to subtle body language. As a result of such examples, a survey was conducted amongst those who agreed to such behavioural traits. It is by no means bias or deragotary on my part but in all of my cases, those interviewed were ladies (humans born to have boobs and vagina physically natural). Through means of my informal interview sessions, they revealed that their past relationship with men were unsuccessful as their men were unable to be sensitive to their feelings and were unable to provide them the emotional and physical understanding that they were able to have with another woman. The imbalance or lack of understanding and non-verbal communication were cited as main reasons for them deciding to go with a same gender in the next relationship.
  2. In another such situation, the interviews conducted revealed they had felt that they were different since young. Believing that they belong to a different gender from the one that they were born as. Their interests had varied with those individuals of similar gender since young and thus, they had come to assume a role that led them to believe that they were born different and were less suitable to belong to the acceptable group. There was a balance in the number of genders who expressed such views amongst those interviewed.
  3. In this last situation, lack of sexual intimacy during sexual intercourse was cited as the reason to preference to a same gender relationship. A lack of understanding to the need of the individual during sexual intimacy with opposing gender had played a great role in this situation. Most of these individuals were still at the exploration stage in age when they decided that a relationship with the same gender would be more suited to them.

Oh gayy…. Very interesting. So, are you telling me that such behavioural traits could have been avoided?

In my opinion, I believe that such behavioural traits could have been avoided. This can be achieved through a better understanding between similar genders and cross genders. However, such education must begin at a tender age because it is when they are still at the acceptance age to information.

I do not understand.. Can explain a bit more?


If you have noticed, we were taught in school that a mother is a girl and father is a boy. A mother cooks and washes and a father works to support the family. A girl plays with dolls and boy with balls. There is not a single textbook in school or teacher that will teach a student that a mother is a man and father is a woman. A man plays with dolls and woman with balls (No pun intended. This is perhaps true when they reach puberty but not when they are still at Primary level).

So you see.. Such perceptions of society were created since young and acceptance to society begins at a young age.

Ahh yess yess… So what do you suggest to do to reverse the effects of those in situation number 2?

In reversing the effects of individuals affected in situation 2, we must first understand the reason why it happens. More often than not, not being accepted into a social norm causes this. A young boy playing with dolls is often teased by his peers that he is a girl because a boy plays soccer. This in effect affects the psychological and emotional interface of the individual and over time, he will begin to believe that he is a girl born a boy and accepts this as his fate. Though some may change over time to switch dolls to balls to be accepted, there are also those who are emotionally scarred and remove themselves from the societal norm and joins the ranks of others who share similar beliefs with them.

It is therefore the job of the adults; namely parents and teachers, to educate their young that there is no such behavioural trait in society or religion to depict that officially a girl plays dolls and boy plays balls. It is merely preference to a choice and their level of enjoyment and exploration. Though it may seem difficult to explain, it actually isn’t because kids often accept what is being told to them, truth be told.

So how then do we tackle situations 1 and 3?

In situations 1 and 3, a deeper understanding of the failure of cross gender relationships needs to be explored.

While it is true that cross gender relationships often result in plenty of miscommunication and misunderstanding, it is also untrue that exercising assumptions during the relationship should be accepted. More often than not, individuals feel that it is romantic when something is done without the need to be told of. Failure to do so means that the individual was emotionless and blind from not being able to detect the non-verbal body language and communication that was shown.

Here, we notice that the word used is detect. This word was commonly used amongst those interviewed. Therefore from here, we can concur that assumptions play a big role in most of these relationships. Non-verbal communication though is very important, it is unfair to rule out that not everyone learns what non-verbal communication is. A verbal communication on the other hand, trancends all communication barriers and delivers the message clearer. A combination of both non-verbal and verbal communication is however, recommended as individuals receive, transmit and retain information better when all sensory nerves are in play.

Ahhh yes yes!!! Most people prefer not to speak and expect to be understood.

While that would be ideal, this is not an ideal world and we are all created different. There is no one way road to getting a message through the first time right.

Okayy well, sure is invigorating!!!

I hope this entry has served its time well on the web.

There could be more possibilities to why this happens. This information shall therefore not be interpreted as it is and readers should engage in their own research and methodology.

One question before you end.


Are you GAY?

Though I may be mistakened for one, I am 100% not gay. Very much interested in the physical attributes and explorations of boobs and vagina more than a dick.

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